So They Caught George W. Bush

The complete unedited address of Elit Davros, UN Coalition Forces commander, speaking at a press conference from the UN mountain headquarters near Colorado Springs:

Good afternoon. Today, January 28th, 2006 at around 7:00 a.m. Mountain Time, United Nations military forces captured George W. Bush alive. He was found near a farmhouse outside the city of Crawford, Texas in a swift raid conducted without casualties. And now the former dictator of America will face the justice he denied to millions.

The capture of this man was crucial to the rise of a free America. It marks the end of the road for him, and for all who bullied and killed in his name. For the Republican holdouts largely responsible for the current violence, there will be no return to the corrupt power and privilege they once held. For the vast majority of American citizens who wish to live as free men and women, this event brings further assurance that the torture chambers and the secret police are gone forever.

And this afternoon, I have a message for the American people: You will not have to fear the rule of George Bush ever again. All Americans who take the side of freedom have taken the winning side. The goals of our coalition are the same as your goals -- sovereignty for your country, dignity for your great culture, and for every American citizen, the opportunity for a better life.

In the history of the United States, a dark and painful era is over. A hopeful day has arrived. All Americans can now come together and reject violence and build a new America.

The success of yesterday's mission is a tribute to our men and women now serving in America. The operation was based on the superb work of intelligence analysts who found the dictator's footprints in a vast country. The operation was carried out with skill and precision by a brave fighting force. Our servicemen and women and our coalition allies have faced many dangers in the hunt for members of the fallen regime, and in their effort to bring hope and freedom to the American people. Their work continues, and so do the risks. Today, on behalf of the world, I thank the members of our International Armed Forces and I congratulate them.

I also have a message for all Americans: The capture of George W. Bush does not mean the end of violence in America. We still face terrorists who would rather go on killing the innocent than accept the rise of liberty in the Western Hemisphere. Such men are a direct threat to the peace-loving people of the world, and they will be defeated.

We've come to this moment through patience and resolve and focused action. And that is our strategy moving forward. The war on terror is a different kind of war, waged capture by capture, cell by cell, and victory by victory. Our security is assured by our perseverance
and by our sure belief in the success of liberty. And the United Nations will not relent until this war is won.

May God bless the people of America, and may God bless the International UN Coalition. Thank you.